Sam - 21

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Cont...

When Sam found Avery's room she was still on the phone but she waved him in with a smile. Max nodded to him at his spot "guarding" her door.

"I know! The tragedy! Tell you what, when I get home we're going to spend the weekend eating junk food and watching crappy action thrillers and I won't say a thing about school." Avery said with a smile as Sam sat in the chair watching her talk animatedly on the phone.
"Really! All weekend!" Avery insisted, "Do you think that would make up for me totally blowing taco night?"
There was a long moment before a grin broke out on her face, "And all the ice cream you can imagine! Sounds like a plan. Though we might just have to cut you off from ice cream after that."
Avery laughed at the response she got, "I know. I love you too, alright, bye." She ended the call and sighed contently.

"Your son?" Sam said fondly.

"Yeah, I kinda blew him off on our big once a month taco night. Trying to make it up to him cause when you're that age saving the world isn't a valid excuse for skipping out. Nothing is really," Avery said, stretching her upper body.

"I'm sorry," Sam said softly and the levity vanished from the situation. He wasn't just talking about taking taco night from her son, he was talking about everything unsaid, leaving, Riley.

 Avery looked down, "I'm not sure what you want me to say. What you did, what happened, it can't be undone. He's gone. He's not coming back."

Sam looked down in shame fighting his own tears, "I know."

 "Sam," Avery said quietly and he looked up. She was crying too but there wasn't anger there, just sadness that would never go away, "I don't hold it against you."

Sam felt like he'd been slammed in the gut he couldn't breath, "But-"

Avery shook her head just a little at him, "You left before I ever had the chance to come to terms with it let alone tell you. In some ways, this is harder for you than it was for me.
You carry the guilt every day. I don't. You punish yourself because you feel you deserve it. I was in love, yes but I still see him, almost every day.
I have a kid that talks like him and looks like him and if I don't pay attention I almost think it is. We both know he would have followed you anywhere but he was his own man, he made a choice to follow you no matter what. He chose to follow you. I doubt you could have talked him out of it if you had tried."
Sam could barely see through his tears. He was shaking with emotion. Part of him had believed that that night had been his fault, that they blamed him for it. That was part of why starting over had been so comforting.
 He couldn't hurt anyone. He made it his job to help and had tried to steal his wings so that no one else could get hurt.
Over time he'd come to terms with the fact he was always going to live with the guilt. Then he'd met Steve and he'd realized that he could do more, that there were others out there like him that wanted to make a difference, that could.
So he'd rejoined. But now, to know that part of the guilt was gone, it was like a burden lifted and felt like being hit with a thousand pounds yet it was relieving.

 "Thank you." He whispered as the tears ran down his face.

"Always," Avery said softly, her own tears coming down. Sam got up and shuffled over and they cried together for a long time.

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