The Price We Pay for Family - 7

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Cont...


 The meet was set for two days from now at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. There was no going back. While he was at peace with his decision, Bucky was still terrified. He was going to be walking back into what could quite possibly be his nightmares. It would not be something he would ever have chosen, but yet when it was on the line, here he was. 

He could hear Sam and Rhodes duking it out with whoever was throwing a fit over his decision. He'd seen at least three yelling matches so far, but it was nine at night, and he was done with irate ministers of defense, or secretaries of homeland security, or whatever. 


So he was sitting out on the back steps watching the lake. The creaking boards warned him of a coming person. A glance over his shoulder told him it was Sarah. 


She sat next to him with a sigh, "Are all operations like this?" She motioned behind her at the yelling inside. 


"Depends on the operation. Depends on the situation." Bucky shrugged. The yelling lulled to less screaming, more growling out threats. Bucky closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the bayou. He had to tell Sarah what this meant, what could happen. He suspected she knew and wasn't acknowledging it. They couldn't go any longer without dealing with it. "I need to tell you something," Bucky said nearly above a whisper.


 Sarah looked at him, "Okay." 


Bucky forced himself to look at her, watch what her reaction would be, "They, they want to trade the boys for me. Not just have me be there. They want to leave with me." 


Sarah didn't say anything, but her heart rate picked up, and her eye twitched, "What are you saying?"

 

"I'm not sure I'm gonna walk away from this." Bucky admitted, "Your brother is gonna do his best to make sure I do, to make sure nothing will go wrong, but things always go wrong." Bucky paused, trying to find the right words for what he was asking, "And I just want you to be sure before you make the commitment I'm asking you to make."


 Sarah stared at him for a long moment before doing the unexpected. She leaned forward and kissed him firmly but gently. The action shocked him, but Bucky relaxed at her touch, anxieties fleeing for a moment. Sarah pulled back after a moment, "I'm sure."


 Bucky had never felt more relief and terror in the same moment. Goodness, he loved this woman so much.


 "Are you?" Sarah asked, voice quiet as their noses almost brushed, "Are you sure you want to do this?" 


Bucky sighed, "I don't know." 


Sarah leaned in and let him think as she ran her fingers through his hair. 


"I don't want to go back. But there's nothing I would do for them, for you. I want them safe. I want you all safe. No matter how no matter what. The rest doesn't matter." Bucky whispered, burying his face in her neck and hair as they wrapped around each other. 


Sarah tried not to think of his past; if he was scared, then she was terrified. Her babies were in the middle, stuck with people who knew no limits. If the situation had been different, so different, she would have been moved by Bucky's choice and conviction. But the whole ordeal was so revolting it choked it out at the root. He was going to walk willingly back into his own personal nightmare to get her boys back. There were no words to describe the sacrifices he was making. He was quite possibly never coming back from this. For her, for her boys. She held him tighter and kissed his head, "I love you." What else could be said?



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