The Price We Pay for Family - 29

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Cont...


 'What if she's in love?' Cass's voice wouldn't leave him alone.

 AJ watched how Mama glowed as she piloted the boat out to the water. She was happy. Really happy. Happier than AJ had seen her in a long time. 

He could clearly remember the first time he'd seen her like that. The first time Uncle Bucky had taken her on a date.

Uncle Sam had thrown a fit over it, but eventually, he'd come around. Mama would have gone if he approved or not, though. AJ knew that. 

Bucky had picked her up on his motorcycle, and they stayed out for hours. AJ had been in bed when he heard the gravel crunch softly when they returned. 

His bedroom faced the front of the house above the door, and with the open window, he heard the murmuring of voices. They'd murmured at the front door for a good ten minutes before there was a long silence, more murmuring, and then the door opened. The gravel crunched softly away as AJ listened to Mama navigate the creaky stairs.

She'd come in near silently to check on him after checking on Cass and didn't seem that surprised to see him awake, "Sam said you went to bed hours ago."

 AJ had shrugged sheepishly, "I tried." 

"Mhmm, and what did you think about Bucky taking me out tonight? Goodness knows you've heard your Uncle's." Mama had cut right to the point.

 AJ had thought about everything he felt and heard and wanted to know and asked, "Are you happy?" 

Mama blinked, "Yes. I'm very happy." 

"Happy like you were with Dad?" AJ asked softly. He could faintly remember his father, hazy, happy memories of the sea and the sky and his Mama laughing. That's all he had. But he knew they'd been happy.

 Mama thought for a long moment, hands smoothing out his blankets as she thought, "Yes," She looked up at AJ meeting his eyes like a grown-up, "I think I do." 

AJ considered the answer, "Do you love him?" 

Mama choked out a surprised laugh, "I don't know. Maybe. He makes me happy, treats me well, and loves you and your brother. And that's what I need right now. And I'll figure it out as I go." 

"Okay." AJ said, shifting into a comfortable position, "As long as you're happy. I'm okay with it." 

Mama had smiled big and wide, "And that's how it should be. Goodnight." 

And they'd moved on from that conversation smoothly. Mama had continued dating Bucky, and everything had just clicked. They'd been happy. Everyone was happy. 

And then it had all been ripped away. 

But watching Mama today, water's breeze brushing up against her hair, sun bouncing off the water, making her glow, AJ could pretend that there wasn't a gaping hole. That Bucky was just down below, and everything was right. 

But it wasn't right. Bucky was gone, and that scar wasn't going away. 

AJ couldn't ignore the ache in his chest from the loss that wouldn't fade, but he couldn't ignore how happy his Mama was. And she was still that happy despite the circumstances. Still really happy. Maybe we can be okay for her? 

Cass was naive but not wrong. Something had happened, and AJ wasn't sure if he was as happy about the change as Cass was.


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